THE Asylum

T’was the night before Christmas
When all through the house,
The whole damn family was drunk as a louse.
Grandpa and Grandma were singin’ a song,
And the kid was in bed flogging his dong.

Ma home from the cathouse,
And I, out of jail, had just settled
Down for a good piece of tail.
When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter,
I jumped off of Ma to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I made a mad dash,
Threw open the window and fell out on my ass.
And what to my bloodshot eyes should appear
But a rusty old sleigh and a dozen reindeer.

With a little old driver holding his prick,
I knew in a moment that bastard was Nick.
Slower than snails his chargers they came.
He bitched and he swore as he called them by name.

“Now Dancer, now Prancer, up over the walls.
Quick now, damn it, or I’ll cut off your balls!”
When up on the roof he stumbled and fell,
And came down the chimney like a bat out of Hell.

He staggered and stumbled and went to the door
He tripped on his dick and fell to the floor.
I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
“Piss on you all, it’s a Hell of a night.”

Humbug will soon be upon us. The day when the  drunken little fat fucker in red cums down your chimney once more, and the flying reindeers explode with the stresses of travelling at the speed of light to carry said drunken fat fucker around the world at the speed of light to deliver something to all those horrid little brats in time for the next morning.

At least it’s not obligatory to have to suffer another of those awful turkeys. Once a year is once too many.

I shall sit in my favorite chair with a bottle of brown ale, and cast aspertions on any one that comes by.

It’s nearly that time of year again, when junior whines, and the credit cards flex a little too much, and everyone is around the tree likes pigs at a trough first thing in the morning…

Myself, I shall have a nice roast chicken dinner, and play with my book token from Mother, and drink a few beers, and fart Old Lang Syne ready for the week after when friends come over, and we let off fireworks by the lake and frighten the fuck out the ducks. No, it’s not cruel. The little feathered bastards keep me awake half the year shagging themselves silly out the back at 3am. I’m just getting my own back.  One Christmas I’m gonna bag me one though, and it’s gonna be in that oven with an orange up its ass faster than a bat out of hell.

Anyway, stop reading this drivel and go wrap up some present or write some cards. No, don’t buy the Crimbo booze yet, or you’ll have drunk it all before the big day, you pisshead.

We’re into another new month. The last month of 2007. Wow! Time Flies! It doesn’t seem five minutes ago, we were celebrating the new Millennium.

Soon we will be through December, past Christmas, and into another new year. You know I was thinking that IRC is one thing that really changes little. It’s still basically the same beast as it was when it was started 20 years ago. So the IRC Clients have gotten more user friendly, but that’s really been down to having a GUI, such as Windows or KDE or MacOS

Will IRC still be around in another 20 years, or will be all be using video IM by then?